Alien: Covenant


The Joxer Film Review of Alien: Covenant..

Directed by Ridley Scott and starring Michael Fassbender,Katherine Waterston and Billy Cudrup,this is the 6th Alien film and the sequel to Prometheus..

The film begins aboard the colony ship Covenant with a small crew made up of couples and a synthetic named Walter [Fassbender] with 2000 colonists in sleep stasis heading for the new world of Origae-6.After a solar flare hits the ship and Walter is forced to awaken the crew to make repairs to the damaged ship they intercept a message that appears to be human in origin and head off to find out who or what has sent it.

Let the mayhem and mystery begin..

First off,I liked the original first 3 films,I even liked Prometheus for trying to be something different but this is by far the most ludicrous and pretentious film of the lot.

There is absolutely no logic to any of the crew of The Covenant.They abandon their mission with 2000 people under their supervision to go out on a whim and they all get exactly what they deserve.The Right Stuff these idiots are not.They have no common sense and I wouldn’t trust any of them to run a bath let alone a spaceship.For that reason alone,none of the characters have any depth apart from Michael Fassbender who acts the others off the screen [which isn’t hard] showing a warmth with Walter and devilish desire as David who is alone on the planet left to his own devices.As Pete [sat next to me watching it] said “you bunch of losers..!”..

There are many problems with this film.If you have watched Prometheus and are waiting for much of that film to be explained in this then forget it.The search for The Creators gets glossed over in a brief section half way through this film and is discarded like yesterday’s newspapers to never referred to again.

The film is as predictable as they come.It is basically a mix-up of most of the good bits of the first 3 films thrown together as a kind of homage and therefore lacks anything genuinely original.It’s Aliens By Numbers if you will.

The plot is so predictable that you are at least 20 minutes ahead of it at all times.Oh joy,another body bursting out the stomach,don’t look in the pod it will face hug you,whatever you do don’t open that quarantine door or shoot at the inflammable canisters with a shotgun.In fact,most of the film is laughable,not a good laughable either.It’s the kind of laughable where you know that your intelligence is being insulted and everything is disposable whilst trying to be clever.In the end it comes across as patronisingly ploddingly predictable.

However,there are some saving graces in the film.

The special effects are stunningly stylish,there is an awe and vastness about the planet especially with the scenes with David and Walter together and at times the film does feel claustrophobic as the crew on the ship lose the plot and go out of their way to get killed and Ridley Scott should get a few plaudits for that but other than that,the film is stodgy and stiflingly bland..

That doesn’t take away that the film is ok at times,Mediocre more often than not and you end up cheering for the alien to add more chlorine to the human gene pool..

A few months ago I reviewed Kong:Skull Island and said that all those that died in that got a “good death”,with Alien:Covenant everyone gets what they deserve.

I’m not sure if I really want another sequel to the prequels..

Joxer Film Rating..

“in the cinema,nobody can hear you yawn..”

3 stars 6/10


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